I thank what ever angel that watches over me that I had to work the night the Catwoman sneak showed in
I’m not quite sure what made Ghost Rider so horrible. Was it the Redman stains on a script that was written during yellow flags at the Daytona 500? It could have been the actors performances were driven by direction gleaned from focus groups of 12 year olds Anson Williams hopped up on Redbull and red-hots? (Thanks to Bear for that line. Sorry you had to vomit so many times during the film) The why is unimportant, the reality is the folks at Marvel jumped the shark with Ghost Rider.
The story chronicles the life of Johnny Blaze, an Evel Knievel-ish motorcycle daredevil. Johnny makes a deal with the Devil for his soul in exchange for healing his father’s terminal cancer. The deal is made in less time and emotional energy than it takes to order a Big Mac, and Johnny becomes the world’s next Ghost Rider (A sort of bounty hunter for ole split foot). Along the way Johnny leaves the love of his life, becomes the biggest stuntman since Super Dave Osborne, and is called upon to stop a group of four demons from bringing about the end of the world. Who the demons are and how they are going to bring about the end of the world isn’t very clear.
Why anyone would be compelled by the heroic characters is equally as vague. Nicholas Cage’s characterization of Johnny Blaze was a step above a snickering Bevis. There were a few attempts at making the character quirky and memorable. Blaze listens to Carpenter’s songs while guzzling coffee straight out of the pot before getting ready for his career defining big jump scene. That sums Blaze’s character development. Eva Mendes, as love interest Roxanne Simpson, is less believable than a high school cheerleader’s excuse of taking care of a sick mother for not going out with you on Saturday night.
The visuals and special effects aren’t bad, but far from carrying the film as just a piece of eye candy. If you’ve seen the trailers, you’ve seen all the cool action packed shots of the film. Surprisingly the best special effect is Eva Mendes’ anti-gravity bra pushing up her ever exposed cleavage.
Folks, don’t see this one. Don’t rent it. Don’t get it on Netflix. Don’t talk to anyone about thinking about seeing it. And please pray that Stan Lee was paying closer attention to Spiderman 3 and Fantastic Four 2 to watch the dailies of Ghost Rider. If this is any indication of what we have to look forward to this year for Marvel Comics’ movies, we should all start reading Nora Roberts.