19 January 2007

Testing Fate and Learning Flyte...

I've been meaning to post this forever and keep forgetting to. These are some comments from one of the Chefs at Nashville's hippest new restaurant Flyte, Jen. If you haven't been to Flyte you're not hip and trendy. That's why I haven't been yet, but the Scene gave it a good review. Jen sent this to me this summer, and I've been meaning to post it since. If you would like to lavish Jen with praises, stop by Flyte for dinner and tell her how clever she is. The first part is a real news story...

Lioness in zoo kills man who invoked God

Mon Jun 5, 8:31 AM ET
KIEV (Reuters) - A man shouting that God would keep him safe was mauled to death by a lioness in Kiev zoo after he crept into the animal's enclosure, a zoo official said on Monday. "The man shouted 'God will save me, if he exists', lowered himself by a rope into the enclosure, took his shoes off and went up to the lions," the official said.
"A lioness went straight for him, knocked him down and severed his carotid artery." The incident, Sunday evening when the zoo was packed with visitors, was the first of its kind at the attraction. Lions and tigers are kept in an "animal island" protected by thick concrete blocks.

Jen's thoughts on the matter...
Top Things to do Before You Try This Would be:

1. Make sure you believe in the correct god, the one that saves you from lions.
2. Make sure you’ve talked to your god recently; perhaps feel him/her out on their opinion on saving people from zoo exhibits that were intentionally designed to keep people on the outside, and man-eating animals on the inside.
3. Make sure god’s schedule is clear that week, you don’t want to be hanging above lions and find out god is having his/her hair done.
4. Maybe give god a 5 second window – stick just a foot in and if god doesn’t show up within 5 seconds come back later.
5. Make sure the lions don’t believe in a better god than you do. How do you know that lion god doesn’t protect lions from stupid people who enter their cages and present themselves like a Hungry Man meal?
6. Maybe try watching some Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom first. If god was so interested in saving beings from lions he/she probably would have started a tradition that would be well documented by now.

1 comment:

Louiza Fitness Tips for Life said...

This is cute and witty!
See my blog on www.blogger.com too: Louiza's Fitness Tips for Life.