08 November 2006

Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny



I have never made any qualms about being the world’s oldest 12 year-old. This is a role I have come to relish and the people in my life have come to expect of me. My mind is wired to play Xbox games on my days off, laugh at my own flatulence, and shirk responsibilities whenever possible. I have irrational fears of clowns, Burl Ives, and commitment. It’s who I am and it’s what I do best.

With this in mind, let me tell you the tale of the greatest movie of all time, Tenacious D in: The Pick of Destiny. Jack Black and Kyle Gass reprise their roles as the greatest rockers of all time. The plot is that of an ABC After School Special gone terribly wrong: boy leaves home, boy meets his rock master, boy and master form a band, the duo seeks out a guitar pick made from Satan’s tooth, and along the way they learn the lesson of true friendship.

If you’re familiar at all with any of Tenacious D’s music or skits, none of this movie will be a surprise to you. It almost serves as a framework drawing the colorful Tenacious D mythos together. The only thing that is missing for the true fan is a reprise of Wonderboy and Tribute. (However, one will have a much clearer understanding of Tribute by the end of the film) Making up for this slight oversight are performances from: Tim Robbins as a very creepy pick seeker, Meatloaf as Jack’s dad, Ronnie James Dio, and Ben Stiller playing the helpful guitar store employee.

For those of you, who are going to see this because your heart was warmed by Shallow Hal and Nacho Libre , stay at home. This film is course from minute one. Explicit profanity, drug references, and fart jokes will make the touchy-feely crowd leave in the first five minutes. Then again who needed them any way?

If you are of the mindset to find this type of over the top, potty humor knee slapping funny, pay full price. The Pick of Destiny is as guilty a pleasure as Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. You won’t want to admit to anyone at work you were anything other than appalled at the humor, but secretly you’ll wonder what the DVD extras will be.

Speaking of extras, check out the movie’s web site at the link above. There are tons of juvenile distractions to suck up your already crowed work day. Find out what messages are hidden with in the freckles on your bottom. Or pop in a tape on the Dark Lord’s VCR, which I’m sure is in Beta. Finally my favorite, overhaul a website in the Tenacious D way. I was amazed at how Random Stuff turned out.

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