22 August 2006

Treasure on a Stick !!

This may well be the first time in the history of humanity that anyone had produced a corn dog puppet show. Yes, it was I who had the idea and I'm proud to admit it. Thanks to Robert and Laura for helping me achieve my vision. I'd also like to thank the Academy....

17 August 2006

Report of Bird Flu

this is an audio post - click to play

Kannard's Random Stuff takes it on the road to visit the first case of human transmission of the Bird Flu here in the United States. Don't miss this breaking news story.

12 August 2006

Life Lesson #17

I've decided to start a short film series about teaching my son some of the finer things in life. Submitted for your appoval is "Life Lesson #17: What's in the Can Dad?"

11 August 2006

Happy Days Are Here Again

By order of the Corn Dog Council, National Corn Dawg Days are back! Huzzah!

06 August 2006

What Dream Have Come

Given some of my posts, one might wonder just what does this guy see when he sleeps? Well other than the stock footage of me winning the lottery or running away with Zoe from Firefly / Serenity , I do have some odd ones. Listed below are a few of my favorite bizarre dreams. (Plus I had to post something with some content that would flag Google Adsence. Enough with picking up on the addiction refrences in my review of A Scanner Darkly. ) Please, if you’re a shrink, don’t email me with ideas for new prescriptions. I can assure you my regular physician has all my medications tweaked out…

Oddest of the Odd

  • In my teenage years, I once assaulted a Russian beach head in a giant combat teacup. There was even a 50 cal machine gun on a swivel mount in the center of it. You remember, the tea cup was like the ones that would spin around until you puked on that ride at Opryland….
  • A long dead relative was dressed up like Abraham Lincoln and being used as a marionette by someone in a church. There’s too much psychic feedback coming from that one to ever think about analyzing it.
  • An airplane has crashed down the street from my house. I get home from work to find the FAA team set up in my front yard with a huge tent as their command post. I start reaming out the lead FAA investigator for setting up in my yard without asking me first.

Nightmares and Dreamscapes (couldn’t resist)

  • I have a rather innocuous dream and wake up to see an Art Bell Shadow Person above my bed. Only to really wake up and find out that it’s a dream. Thanks to my job and working late nights sometimes, Art is the only friend a guy has…
  • As a small child I remember dreaming that a very cheesy skeleton was floating over my bed. I’m sure I have an ABC After School Special to thank for that one.

Reoccurring Dreams

  • I haven’t had this one in a while, but I use to have a reoccurring theme in a dream about once a month. I would be driving and would shut my eyes for just a minute. Then when I opened them, I would be a mile or so down the road. Also in this category is the dream you are flying to a foreign land without a passport. I always woke up and prayed that that would not be a trip to Turkey for a repeat of Midnight Express

Dreams that I thought about lying and saying I had.

  • I am Harry Potter and have been called into Dumbledore’s office for a conference. Dumbledore (the Richard Harris Dumbledore, not the pretender they got after Richard Harris faked his death to join the Bilderburg Group) starts singing MacArthur Park. My ears begin to issue forth slugs and I pray Voldemort will come and zap me out of existence.
  • I finally achieve fame and fortune by producing the musical version of Atlas Shrugged with a cast of Muppets.

Dreams that other people had that I found funny

  • My buddy T-Billy (if you need a caricature artist for an event, check out the link on his name) had an odd dream about interviewing for a job. The interview is going fine until the boss is looking over his employment history. He sees a gap of a few years worth of work history and asks T-Billy about it. With a sheepish look, my friend turns to the boss and simply says, “Have you ever heard of Johnny Appleseed?”

05 August 2006

What Should Your Business Card Say?

If the web is art, and art imitates life, then shouldn’t life on the web parallel real life? Since I wasn't a philosophy major, feel free to fault my logic on that one. But I have proof once again that an electronic existence mirrors the 9 to 5 work-a-day world.

Brian Kannard

Revenge Specialist

'What will your business card say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

I know this one isn't as good as Candy Pants, but then again what could be. I think I'm going to look that guy up and have him sing at my next shin-dig.

03 August 2006

Candy Pants

This was too freaky not to post. I give it a train wreck rating of 10 box cars.