15 February 2006

Physician Heal Thyself

Tasting my own medicine, I really did take my little quiz. Here are my answers. Being a highly subjective test, there is no right or wrong. Well, there is plenty of wrong in my answers. *

1. Oddly enough, the idea for this article came to me while fishing a pickle out of a jar with a ball point pen.
2. You have to count not only the urinals and the toilets, but the number of sinks and floor drains to get a truly accurate count. Those that answered with anything to do with trash cans are just plain twisted.
3. Of course the “C” word, conscription. What did you think I was going to say?
4. Military term for “prepare for an explosive to be detonated”. This has nothing to do with a STD.
5. For me it’s a necessary evil. While driving I like to think that picking my nose is akin to free speech.
6. I’m not even brave enough to answer that one in a public forum.
7. Having never needing to use a Fleet, I would have to say disposable income.
8. No I never have. Have you ever done a Match.com search on midgets? They’re few and far between.
9. I put it back. Folks that just leave things out for others to pick up are pigs at heart and have no place in my universe.
10. Quickly light a stick on incense and pray he didn’t get so relaxed he sharted himself.
11. Drinking bathtub hooch at a party a cop threw.
12. Neither, I usually make one of my many house servants clean up any messes I make.
13. Andy Rooney did so; on a dare.
14. Neither, you immediately rat out the last person in the bathroom to the host. You have to say it loud enough that a few folks hear you. This will create a hub-bub at the party that the person you fingered really did do it. Get another drink, and hit on the date of the crass bowl misser.
14b. What’s a Tide pen?
15. Out of respect for the affair I once had with Anne Murray while listening to One Night in Bangkok and eating a candy bar, I will not answer this question.
16. Anyone that knows me knows the answer to this one, or at least the first part of it. Like so many things on this blog, I decline to answer on the grounds of the 5th Amendment.
17. Ok folks, I was 11 and really dug watching the “A” Team. I pitty the fool that would have made fun of my hair style that summer.
18. I looked for HervĂ© Villechaize memorabilia, hoping to find a shirt that he wore on Fantasy Island. What I found was more perverse than anything I could have imagined. There was a pair of Superman Underroos that Tattoo wore while filming Two Moon Junction. Yes I bid, and I got sniped at the last minute and lost the auction by 50 cents. By the way, I have actually been by the little man’s house. Or what was the little man’s house, well before you know…
19. I think E.E. said it best in his poem Between the Breasts. Check it out. That Cummings fellow was a man after my own heart.
20. I once had a taco casserole attack me at a clam bake. Well the casserole didn’t attack me, the woman I had just ask to run away with me to search for Bigfoot threw it at me. I can’t say as I blame her. Her husband was the Duke of some small Baltic State, and looking for Bigfoot is hard work.

*Answers will vary from participant to participant. See the box top for rules. Not vaild in the State of Maryland due to laws governing fake personality tests. There is no scoring method. Everyone is a winner and a star in my book. Keep on trucking

1 comment:

Tim Avers said...

Good gawd - great blogs!