01 January 2006

New Year's Resolutions

It’s New Years and I’m thinking there needs to be some changes in my life. My resolution last year of fostering new and interesting phobias didn’t work out so well. So now a fresh start, visa via, the planet completing a rotation around the sun. Below is a list of 18 things I resolve to do this year. If you’re not familiar with the list of 18 concept, it’s a Disk Golf and Chub Squad thang. You might not understand…

  1. Eat a DQ Blizzard every day

  2. Become involved in a conspiracy of national, or international, significance

  3. Smoke one more pack and drink one more cup of coffee before 6 am.

  4. Bilk an old lady out of her fortune

  5. Sing East Bound and Down at Andy Cap’s karaoke night

  6. Write a Lifetime movie script, when it’s rejected try the Hallmark Channel.

  7. Solve the mysterious disappearance of Arlo the Clown

  8. Campaign to include the Time Cube theory in textbooks

  9. Involve the ACLU in a Happy Hogmanay campaign

  10. Discover a cure for shart

  11. Find uses for canned air other than blowing away trace evidence

  12. Avoid Cracker Barrel at all costs

  13. Party with the guys from Myth Busters

  14. Write the geek’s guide to “How to Impress Your Girlfriend’s Dad”; topics to include: sports, hardware stores, and grilling guide.

  15. Build errant running robot that looks like K-9 from Dr. Who.

  16. Audition for role as Starbuck’s new love interest on Battlestar Galactic

  17. Convince Don King to promote the ultimate fight; the AFLAC Duck versus the Engergizer Bunny

  18. Never preface an order for Thai food with,”Give it to me as hot as you think I can take it.”


And as always, feel free as a tree in the wind to comment on your particular resolutions. I’m sure the world is as interested in hearing yours as you were to hear mine…

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

No where on your list of resolutions was there one about taming a minx.