13 December 2005

Tales Never Told; Part 1

Note to self… Do not tell these stories to your son until he turns 18; or until the statue of limitations runs out.

10 things I’ve done in a Krystal drive-thru
A closed bar and a bottle of Scotch
A diabetic cop walks into a club on Beale Street
A man, a teddy bear and a dialogue.
All strippers take Monday night off.
And the judge said, “You have been fined $62.50”
Big Spiked Hammer and other song requests
Come on, she drives a bus…
Contributions to the National Foundation for the Deaf
Did I just get shushed?
Drunks and junkies love to hang out in bathrooms
Fung Shue is the art of the sleeping bear.
Hello, is anyone in there?
Hey Operator, can you help me find out where the hell I’m at?
Hey there Fat Bastard
Hi, I’m Bob Wolfy.
Honking etiquette 101
How much is that doggie in the doorway?
I’d like to ask you a few questions for my thesis
It’s mid-July, do you know where your neighbor is?
Janet Reno goes hot tubbin’
Never take a picture of a diva eating a sandwich on her tour bus
Not all cap drivers are named Abdullah
Sears delivers a surprise
Shamoo likes to shoplift
So that’s how they make pressed ham
Stop, drop and roll, Knoxville style.
Taco Bell bag blues
Tales of a green couch
The hoods of police cars are sturdier than they look
Where does split pea soup come from?
White shirts are not designed to be inserted in one’s bum.
Why did it rain on the Governor’s parking space last night?
Why is your beer glass warm?
You have a stain on the back of your pants.

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